Choosing Yourself Without Losing Yourself
By Dr. Brittney Clinton | Tuesday, October 13, 2026 | It's All Business
Ericka Spradley on career advancement self advocacy and sustainable ambition
“You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
She is the person everyone calls when the work gets complicated. She solves problems, accepts another responsibility, and keeps the team moving. Yet when the promotion is announced, someone else’s name is called. For a woman who has invested so much in being dependable, that moment can raise a painful question: What else am I supposed to do?
Ericka Spradley invites women to examine a different question: How am I managing the career I am working so hard to build? Through her coaching and her autobiography, Unwilling: Refusing To Play A Game That Isn’t Mine, she explores the habits, expectations, and workplace conditions that shape women’s opportunities. Her message makes room for both personal agency and organizational accountability. Women can advocate for their worth, and employers must examine how they recognize and reward it.
In this conversation with Dr. Brittney Clinton, Spradley reflects on the career lessons that changed her approach, the hidden cost of being indispensable, and the boundaries that make ambition sustainable. Her insights speak to the woman preparing for her next opportunity, the leader reconsidering how she supports her team, and anyone who has wondered whether success must come at the expense of a fulfilling life.
Dr. Brittney Clinton: What experience first made you realize that doing excellent work does not always lead to advancement—and how did it change the way you guide women today?
Ericka Spradley: What’s interesting as I think about this question is that my experience wasn’t initially one of excellent work failing to lead to advancement. Early in my career, I was tapped for promotion, which led me into leadership while in my twenties. Because I interviewed well, I had no problem getting hired, so that was my blueprint for career advancement.
It wasn’t until I was in my thirties that I realized securing an offer isn’t synonymous with managing your career. That revelation changed the way I navigated spaces, managed my career, and coached women to do the same.
When I started my career, I wasn’t leveraging transferable skills, intentionally investing in relationships and development beyond college, or negotiating salary. Fast-forward to the present, where I help women excel at work, know their worth, and stop sitting on their ask, because I recognize advocacy is an aspect of excellence we cannot afford to ever overlook.
Dr. Brittney Clinton: You encourage women to “choose yourself.” What does that look like when advocating for yourself could carry a real professional cost?
Ericka Spradley: There is a system and a societal view that are counting on you to believe choosing yourself is problematic. It can look like you’ll be seen as difficult, not a team player, or even selfish, which isn’t necessarily true.
What women often sense and experience is the discomfort of interrupting a pattern that was never serving their advancement or well-being in the first place. This is a perfect example of the conditioning I talk about in my autobiography, Unwilling: Refusing To Play A Game That Isn’t Mine.
The real cost is associated with what happens to you as a woman when you don’t choose yourself. If you think about it, who benefits when you pour from an empty cup? Who benefits when you don’t choose yourself or prioritize yourself properly?
This shouldn’t be an either/or, meaning “I choose to work extra hours” or “I choose to care for myself.” It should be an “and.”
Dr. Brittney Clinton: How can a woman tell whether she needs a new career strategy or whether the organization needs to change the conditions holding her back?
Ericka Spradley: What we’re discussing is environmental barriers that you cannot control versus career strategy that you can control. By asking yourself whether you have the power to change what you’re experiencing, you create awareness about whether you’re facing a career management issue or an organizational issue caused by workplace conditions.
A woman can tell she needs a new career strategy when the results she’s experiencing aren’t the results she wants. For example, if you’re consistently tired because you’re the subject matter expert on the team, you can examine your boundaries, your balance, and whether you’re having capacity conversations with your leader.
When it comes to conditions that are holding women back, the list is lengthy. These examples aren’t all-encompassing:
The goalpost continues to shift once you achieve the success metric leadership suggested.
Proximity bias rewards individuals who are in the office and penalizes those who are remote.
The “culture fit filter” honors those currently in positions of power and excludes individuals who aren’t.
Dr. Brittney Clinton: You’ve written about the cost of invisible labor. What should women begin tracking or questioning when they are praised for being indispensable but passed over for promotion?
Ericka Spradley: I recommend that women become familiar with their job description and performance evaluation criteria. There’s typically a disconnect there, and when leadership expectations are added to the mix, clarity is easily lost. So are opportunities to advance and increase your salary.
Whether it’s a small ask or a major initiative, your yes could eventually contribute to you being undercompensated and overlooked. One of the things women can do today is assess the gap between their performance, praise, and compensation.
When the company can’t survive without you, your salary and title should serve as confirmation of that.
Dr. Brittney Clinton: What does sustainable ambition look like in practice for a high-performing woman who wants to lead without sacrificing her well-being?
Ericka Spradley: CNBC and SurveyMonkey’s 2026 Women at Work survey found that 45% of women workers feel burned out from work. What I know for sure is that this number won’t change until we as women do.
Because I, too, am a high-performing, ambitious woman who has made the conscious decision to take care of myself while caring for the work, I recently dedicated a series of AI-generated videos to helping women in the workplace succeed without sacrificing their well-being. A few of those principles are:
Count the cost. Before you proceed, take a moment to pause. Executing without fully calculating the pros and cons can contribute to exhaustion.
Be anxious for nothing. Working harder, doing more, and extending your workday isn’t always the best solution. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is stop, separate your thoughts from truth, recalibrate your strategy, and solicit support.
Rest intentionally. Rest is not a reward you earn after the work is done; it is a strategic performance asset.
In addition to these principles, making boundaries your best friend is pivotal. I’ve seen too many women become so busy making a living that they forget to enjoy their life. My ask of you is that you don’t become one of them.
Survey source: https://www.surveymonkey.com/curiosity/cnbc-women-at-work-2026/Ericka’s video series: https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAJMb0SMxCsQ&ra=m
Dr. Brittney Clinton: If your work succeeds on the scale you envision, what will be different about how organizations recognize, advance, and retain women ten years from now?
Ericka Spradley: A beautiful evolution of the workplace would include the following as it pertains to women:
Recognition will be based on performance, not preference, which means criteria will be visible and accessible.
Pay will be transparent when women apply for roles and when they advance within an organization. Compensation audits will be the norm, with action taken to close the pay gaps companies create.
Organizations will have clear advancement paths. Opportunities for advancement will no longer exclude individuals without consequence.
Sponsorship and mentorship for women will be intentional aspects of company culture. Both will be tracked, and the data will be used to develop, promote, and retain women.
Developing and promoting talent will become performance criteria for leadership.
Organizational cultures will create space for women to thrive at work by eliminating discrimination, dismantling structural exhaustion, and honoring psychological and physical safety.
Spradley’s reflections invite women to look closely at what their dedication is producing and what it is costing them. A useful starting point may be one honest conversation about capacity, one review of the distance between responsibilities and compensation, or one deliberate investment in a relationship that supports growth. For organizations, the responsibility is equally concrete: make advancement criteria clear, examine compensation, and hold leaders accountable for developing talent. Choosing yourself becomes more possible when personal advocacy meets a workplace willing to respond. The future Spradley envisions is one in which women can pursue meaningful achievement and still have the energy, security, and freedom to enjoy the lives they are building.
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” — Audre Lorde
Dr. Brittney Clinton is a content educational practitioner currently serving as an Associate Professor at Westcliff University, Dissertation Committee Member, independent published author, and compassionate leader that attracts other professionals, scholars, and individuals in the community with a devoted purpose to empower, educate, and support others. Previously, Dr. Clinton served various leadership roles in Winston-Salem, NC with the following organizations: Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc and The Order of the Eastern Star PHA 30th District. Dr. Clinton currently serves as a board member for the city of Winston-Salem, NC Appearance and Commission Board. Dr. Clinton graduated from the following prestigious institutions: Winston-Salem State University, B.A. Sociology/Elementary Education 2009, Strayer University, MA Education Leadership and Management 2012, and Capella University, Ed. D Education Leadership and Management 2015. Dr. Clinton founded the motto “Continue to be a beacon of light”; which is implemented daily while effectively illuminating a successful path for others.
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