Can You Have It All?

By Dr. Sharon H. Porter | Thursday, October 9, 2025 | EducationFIRST

As we near the end of the third quarter of the year, I often find myself reflecting on the mix of emotions this season brings—overwhelm, anxiety, hope, and exhaustion all at once. Recently, I had the pleasure of joining Dr. Kendra Washington-Bass and Kelly Peaks Horner as a guest on their show, The Lucy Leadership Project Book Talk Live and I’m so grateful to them for having me. We had a meaningful conversation about leadership, well-being, and the power of storytelling, and I left feeling inspired and energized.

Reflecting on the Third Quarter

Dr. Kendra and Kelly and I talked about how this “third quarter” feels. I admitted that balancing multiple priorities can be daunting, but acknowledging those feelings has been essential in staying grounded and intentional in my work.

Stepping Into Leadership: Boundaries Are Essential

Stepping into leadership can feel overwhelming, especially with the expectation to be available, responsive, and “always on.” One of the most powerful strategies I’ve discovered for sustaining myself and my effectiveness is establishing boundaries early—before stress and burnout take hold.

Protect Your Time-I decide in advance which hours are reserved for work, meetings, and responsibilities, and which are strictly personal. For example, I don’t check emails after 7 PM, and I really try to keep weekends for family, rest, or reflection (Unless I am covering an amazing event). Using my calendar as a visible tool reinforces these boundaries, signaling to others—and myself—that my time is intentional.

Guard Your Energy-Leadership demands mental, emotional, and physical energy. I’ve learned to recognize situations, meetings, or commitments that drain me and either delegate or redirect them. I also include short “energy breaks” during the day—moments of silence, walking, journaling, or meditation—to recharge and maintain focus.

Communicate Availability Clearly-Boundaries work best when others understand them. I make my availability known to colleagues, staff, and students. For example, I might say, “I’m happy to meet, but I review emails at 8 AM and 4 PM.” This approach sets clear expectations while remaining approachable and collaborative.

What It Means to Be "Unwrapped"

A concept central to my leadership philosophy is being “unwrapped.” For me, this means shedding the “double wrapping” of race and gender—the extra layers of expectation placed on me as a Black woman leader. When I intentionally peel away these layers, I can lead without apology or constraint, fully embracing my potential.

My Leadership Journey

My path as an educator took me from North Carolina to Maryland and back, each move shaping my understanding of leadership and equity. I remember experiencing overt racism as a principal in North Carolina after leading in more diverse environments in Maryland. Those experiences strengthened my commitment to inclusive, equitable leadership and taught me resilience in challenging spaces.

Can Women Really "Have It All"?

This question comes up often, and my answer is: yes—but only if you define what “all” means for you. It doesn’t mean doing everything at once. It means setting boundaries, knowing your priorities, and being intentional about what matters most in each season of life.

Defining "All" in My Current Season

Right now, “all” for me is being an effective school leader while pursuing passions in podcasting, publishing, and mentoring. I’ve learned the importance of knowing when to “pull back” and “rev up” different areas of life to avoid burnout. Living in the Washington, D.C., area has also expanded my vision of entrepreneurial possibilities I never imagined.

My Non-Negotiables

I’ve discovered two non-negotiables that keep me balanced:

1. Saying “no” without guilt: Early in my doctoral program, overcommitting led to burnout and ultimately withdrawing. Learning to say “no” strategically allowed me to return and succeed.

2. Getting enough rest: Sleep is essential. I prioritize going to bed early so I can be productive in the mornings. Protecting this time has been critical to my success.

   
   

The Power of Storytelling

Storytelling has always been a passion of mine. It validates experiences, connects us, disrupts silence, and inspires others by showing journeys that include both struggles and triumphs. Through my “Women Who Lead” series and other projects, I aim to share stories that highlight our shared humanity and the possibilities that exist when we embrace our authentic selves.

The Takeaway

Having it all isn’t about perfection or doing everything at once. It’s about clarity, intentionality, and honoring your own definition of success. I am deeply thankful to Dr. Kendra Washington-Bass and Kelly Peaks Horner for inviting me as a guest and creating space for this conversation. Defining your “all,” protecting it fiercely, and leading with courage, rest, and authenticity is the real key to balance and fulfillment.

Enjoy the interview in its entirety:

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